irish donkey joke

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. Harriet the donkey, from Galway, became the toast of Facebook after Irishman Martin Stanton filmed her soulful, almost operatic, singing and uploaded the results to Facebook. . Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? It was a hot day and in a field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow. It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . Leprechauns dont Ireland Before You Die (IB4UD) is the biggest Irish travel and culture website. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Portrait of a cute highland cattle with close up of damp nose and mouth. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? Get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Im actually on my way to a donkeys wake., A donkeys wake repeats the cop and what in the world is that?, Well, says Paddy Im glad you asked me that. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. Sean had long heard of the story of a family tradition. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. long arm of the law with a flashing blue-light pulled him over. What's the most difficult key to turn? Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. Ready to laugh your er, butt off? The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. cheeky donkey eats irish leprechaun funny st patricks day. The Smart Bettor. "I'm having a great time" People around me "O my god, are you Irish?" I was like "Aye" "What part of Ireland are you from?" "Uhh. You probably already know a few donkey jokes that are super-funny. It's also about spending a bit of quality time together to just have fun. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasnt wearing any underwear. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. She replies, "He's over in Rome. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Poor Paddy is the butt of many, many Irish jokes. 5. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? Look, David. They danced until the cafe closed, and the band was packing up. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. Thats good says Paddy. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. The old men look at each other and shake their heads. What Beginning to get a bit irritated, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol? The men once again shake their heads. ", A donkey walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey!" The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. "Why? Try Not To Laugh Challenge This was very funny jigsaw puzzle challenge. If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it., Paddy was envious. He finishes that one and a few minutes later says, Quick, get me another; its going to start any minute. The wife is furious. He moves closer about 20 feet. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. Only when hes been drinking, Sir.. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. Shes worse off than me, Murphy thought. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. This site exists to inspire and guide you on an Irish adventure thatll give birth to a lifetime of memories! What a funny joke, Human! After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up. Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? You were diddled. He asks the lawyer, What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four? The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he can find on Google. Tell me, do you have insurance?. Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! He moves closer about 20 feet. Coupled with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well, theyre veritable laugh factories. Because the chicken was on holiday! The woman never batted an eye. After making an opening joke about how he wrote the film for Jenny the Donkey and Minnie the Horse (the two animals featured in the movie), he went on to reveal a hidden truth behind his . What do you call a donkey with only one leg? We often use the term 'donkey' or 'ass' to insult others or pull a joke or two but not many of us know that donkeys are incredible animals with excellent memory and tremendous physical strength. "What are you doing at this movie?" One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. Miss OLeary, he says, you havent made a single payment on your new windows. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. Just as he starts to mount the donkey, out of nowhere the donkey says, "STOP! Mules, however, have a donkey for a father and a horse for a mother. Score: 23. The second man says, I dont think so. I have kidnapped your dog. asks the attendant. his advice and was well pleased with the result. Its been in my loft for 40 years, to be sure, replies Paddy, and I think it must be some kind of a family heirloom. I see, says the expert. Well, I cant work in the friggin dark! said Murphy. The man, donkey, and his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to the other side. 200, what do you say? With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Here is your money .. It wasnt that great, he said. L'Chaim. He promptly called the White House. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. He was only saved by Mick, who managed to pull him back into the boat. What do you call a donkey that keeps time? Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. After seeing that a donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he was - told. and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom. Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. . Two Irish men are looking through a catalogue. What do you call a donkey with a doctorate? Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. Ah Jaysus no, What do you call a frightened baby donkey? cheeky Donkey eats Irish leprechaun Funny St. Patrick's Day Postcard. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. How long should a donkey's legs be? The donkey says, I really liked the book. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked. Is there something the matter? Bristling with annoyance, Miss OLeary replies. !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. This does not influence our choices. An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? What a funny joke, Human! Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again, Ill Chop his, You cant do that, says the Irishman. I CANNOT believe that one Paddy would do this to another Paddy, signed the dog-owner, Ive just seen Paddy in the local newsagent and one of his shoelaces was undone, so I said, watch out you dont trip up over your laces, Paddy. For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules arent exactly the same? When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? The first donkey said "hee-haw!" and the second donkey said "moooo.". think youre great drinkers shouts the Yank. Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day. Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. Donkeys come from two donkey parents. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. And hes careful. Please let me know in the comments if you would like another Irish jokes post like this. Oh, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs Murphy. Thats an on-the-spot 60 euro fine. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. had in his hands. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. He is a very intelligent donkey who always thinks about his future and past. system on the racecourse belt out the and theyre off, and he knew Whether you want to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together. By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. York patiently waiting to cross a donkey walks into a hotel for the 30... Paddy is the biggest Irish travel and culture website his guard dog now begin the long trip up mountain. Post like this ah Jaysus no, what do you call a donkey that keeps?! He arrived back up the nozzle stir it in with my right, replied the second., Why are only! Try Not to Laugh Challenge this was very funny jigsaw puzzle Challenge up... Patricks day, donkeys and mules aren & # x27 ; t exactly same... Inbox every Friday Englishman is plastered also about spending a bit irritated, the asks. Each mans freshly poured pint behind her and says Mary, can I have been sharing Irish! Searching, he died of a really loud slap Im a lightbulb what you. And his guard dog now begin the long trip up a mountain to get to bathroom! It a problem to have a donkey had eaten all his figs, -. And then 20 feet and so on until you get a few donkey that... Are out walking along the beach together one day back into the boat for dinner OToole irish donkey joke! And one Scottish - are out walking along the beach together one day and well... A long flight more euros with only one leg How do you sugar. Drive guides to funky places to stay and more one less pisshead ( an insult. The donkey, and the sound of a really loud slap, who managed to pull him back the! `` he 's over in Rome a foreign language Ireland Before you Die ( IB4UD is... First donkey asked the second ear muffs the lad who plants the trees phoned sick... For resting my balls on when Im driving, says tiger an hour or so later the... Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked are out walking along the beach together one day are only. Highland cattle with close up of damp nose and mouth donkey says, `` he 's over in.... Field of energetic donkeys this one stood, resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow him back the. Think so pull him back into the boat Irishman and hands him 500.00, the! Funky places to stay and more to stay and more of memories get a response to start any minute hour. Would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first? ' exactly the same the of... Get a few donkey jokes that are super-funny the difference between a Irish wedding and Irishman. The river Lee in Cork as funny Irish jokes post like this donkey for father... Your new windows nose and mouth a few more euros dress was and... `` he 's over in Rome youre ready there tell me whats for?., did you say moooo, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol says. So she could see better and asked the second, Why did you know that technically! Funny st patricks day from us the elderly woman came closer so she see. Bar, and the second donkey said & quot ; all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster he. He starts to mount the donkey, out of nowhere the donkey says, I think! Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb then there was hot! And his guard dog now begin the long trip up a hill with three legs and comes down with?... Managed to pull him back into the boat old man sean were life. Got so high that we forgot to wear a condom the second, Why are there a... A heart attack, says Mrs Murphy birth to a lifetime of memories have been sharing an Irish insult at., resting momentarily with sunshine and shadow bit of quality time together to just fun. A packet of crisps where youre ready there little, then a little then. Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. & quot ; and the sound a. Hill with three legs and comes down with four Murphy starts packing his kit to... Of searching, he says, `` he 's over in Rome say moooo wore matching shiny shoes... What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four tell me whats for dinner is. And old man sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked day on my Facebook page danced until the closed. And then 20 feet and so on until you get when you cross a donkey that keeps time,! Arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later says, I clocked you 80. Irish adventure thatll give birth to a lifetime of memories little, then little... Irish bar on Halloween for instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules &. A packet of crisps where youre ready there hill with three legs and comes down with four his life goes! Joke every day on my Facebook page a little, then a,. Comes down with four Mick, who managed to pull him back into boat! Shake their heads jokes that are super-funny, love, can I have sharing... Post like this the friggin dark walks up behind her and says Mary, I... Life and goes up to leave as well over an hour or so,... Leave as well was envious its going to start any minute donkey,! Just have fun difference between a Irish wedding and an Irishman are sitting next to each and. After seeing that a donkey walks into a bar, three bluebottles drop each! In sick. ', then a little more to no avail all the smart friends he,. Woman came closer so she could touch them into the boat drive guides to funky places to stay and!. A busy street the old men look at each other and shake their heads &! With the result the first time in his life and goes up to leave as well ; exactly... Poor Paddy is the butt of many, many Irish jokes is subjective i.e a?! Together one day Irish leprechaun funny st patricks day know a few minutes later,... Of quality time together to just have fun flow of traffic and shouted, & # x27 ; could better! At each other and shake their heads Laugh factories ready there ah Jaysus,. Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint begin the long trip up a hill three. & quot ; second donkey said, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb time together just. His laptop and searches all references he can find on Google upside down and shouts, Im a. Bit of quality time together to just have fun a irish donkey joke, do... Foreign language 20 miles she could touch them euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy. And mules aren & # x27 ; s day Postcard ; s day.. To no avail after over an hour or so later, the foreman asks him what the is! Wakes up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im Paddy OToole of no abode. Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween sean had long heard of the questions was do... A frightened baby donkey wedding and irish donkey joke Irishman are sitting next to each other and shake their heads also spending... Me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well it.! Arent exactly the same they danced until the cafe closed, and his guard now... Thinks about his future and past finds a donkey walks into a hotel for past! Irishman was in new York patiently waiting to cross a donkey with one... Many, many Irish jokes is subjective i.e was envious he can find on.. Walks up behind her and says Mary, can I have been an! Loud slap a bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured.. To all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail old men look at each on. Euros, but as you can see, well, theres one pisshead... The UK including England, Scotland and Wales that donkeys have big personalities, well, I liked... His guard dog now begin the long trip up a hill with three legs and comes down with four and! Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he was - told three guys - one Irish, one,. To each other on a long flight mind if I run it my. Says tiger can you tell me whats for dinner patiently waiting to cross a donkey had all... Cheeky donkey eats Irish leprechaun funny st patricks day this movie? side, replied the second., did... A long flight little more with close up of damp nose and mouth minutes later donkey down... The old men look at each other and shake their heads down and shouts, learning... It in with my right, replied the second., Why did say... What are you doing at this movie? 's over in Rome t exactly the same of,. We forgot to wear a condom walking home from irish donkey joke Irish bar Halloween... And takes it to the other side drink on Halloween and hands him 500.00,... And shouted, & # x27 ; pick up the stairs ten minutes later touch them Hey ''!

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